I came across a framed poster of H. Jackson Brown Jr.’s “21 Suggestions for Success”. I absolutely l-o-v-e this poster and often go look at it just to ponder upon these 21 Suggestions. But before moving forward with this post, I think it will be important to define the word ‘success’.
When most people think of a successful person, they think of someone who is wealthy. I agree that having an abundance of money can give you the freedom to do what you want, but what if what you want is to get high with drugs or gamble excessively with that money? What if you work 16 plus hours a day just to create more wealth and you neglect your personal relationships or your health? Would that be considered success?
In places like Congo, Afghanistan or even in our own back yard in North America, there are women and children who fear for their lives. Success to this group could be removing themselves from their harmful environment so they can live with choice and freedom of speech.
My definition of success is having balance in my life. Enough wealth to buy and do things that I want, forming solid relationships with friends and family, being a mother who loves unconditionally, taking time to take care of myself body-mind-and-spirit, getting GOOD SLEEP, and choosing to give back to society with education. Being all of this is success to me.
In the dictionary, success is defined as simply, “favorable outcome”. Therefore, I believe that every person will have a different definition for success based on their own circumstances.
Now that we know success means a favorable outcome, it explains why H. Jackson Brown Jr.’s first suggestion for success is, “Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.” After the initial shock of reading this, it dawned on me that this is sooo true! After all, you don’t get to choose your parents or your family, but you DO GET to choose your life partner. Thank you Mr. Brown Jr! Now I’m just annoyed that 1) I didn’t think of this first, and 2) they don’t teach this to youths in high school or college.
So my next question is, “Who is the RIGHT person?” When most people decide to marry someone, don’t they think that person is the right person?
Here’s what the experts say.
According to relationship expert Kim Sarrasin (http://attractyourking.com), finding someone who shares similar values and life goals is important. When times are tough, it will be the values that will act as the glue that holds the relationship together.
Based on the scientific research of Dr. Helen Fisher, a world-renowned anthropologist, author, and leading expert on the biology of love and attraction, your ‘Personality Type’ (Builder, Director, Explorer, or Negotiator) matched with your partner’s ‘Personality Type’ will determine how successful your relationship is. To learn more about these personality types, go tohttp://www.helenfisher.com/or e-mail me for a complete explanation on these types.
Vancouver pre-marital psychologist Gloria Lee comments, “I agree that similar values are integral to a healthy relationship, but instead of spending your time and effort finding the right one, perhaps it’s more important to use this time and effort to BECOMING the right one. When you become the person that you are searching for out there, the “right one” will effortlessly show up in your life, meaning you don’t have to try so hard and spend so much time looking outward, but instead look inward.”
Gloria Lee further comments, “Regarding ‘matching personality type’, remember, with every good match, it’s a matter of perspective. When we look for the right person, we can always see in the other what we are looking for, but when the rose coloured lenses come off over time, the right person may not look so right after all. To keep a ‘rightful’ perspective of our matching personality type, it may be helpful to consider how our own personality can draw the best or the worst out of our partner with our own strengths and weaknesses.”
The research from the three relationship experts suggests that the RIGHT person to marry should have a combination of similar values and matching personality type. I agree with Gloria Lee’s suggestion to “become the RIGHT ONE, and your matching partner will effortlessly come into your life.”
I’ve noticed as I grow older and achieve more successes in my life, the partners that I had during that time were always the right ones to propel me closer to where I want to be in my life. Furthermore, each new partner seems to magically appear when I least expect, and each one has taught me something that I would not have learned without having them in my life.
When it comes to real estate investing, I’ve noticed that many of my married clients who invest together have the largest portfolio because both husband and wife share the common goal of growing their real estate holdings together. What I don’t know is if it is marrying that right person that is contributing to 90% of their happiness, or if it is the time freedom that real estate provides them that prevents them from being 90% more miserable.
– by Teresa Leung
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